California vs. Arizona

California :

Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks dog.

#1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi", get
bitten by coyote and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only
doing what is natural.

#2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends
$200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it..

#3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200
testing it for diseases.

#4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged.

#5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife services
conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear of dangerous
animals.

#6. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness" program for residents of the area.

#7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better
handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.

#8. Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack and
for letting the Governor intervene.

#9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent.

#10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the
state.

Arizona:

Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks dog.

#1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor has spent $0.50
on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat dead coyote.

Any wonder why California is broke????

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. 

His father said he'd make a deal with his son:
'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut. 

The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair.'


(You're going to love the Dad's reply:)


'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'

A Mexican, an Arab, and a Arizona girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says,"In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks non-alcohol beer(cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either."

The Arizona girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,

"In Arizona, we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."